Ambivalence
by Mindy's Mom
Summary: Is it balck and white or shades of gray for detective Olivia Benson?


Olivia turned over and ran her hands where he was supposed to be lying. The faintest of smiles crept upward from the corners of her mouth as she lifted one eyelid then the other anticipating feeling him and kissing his still warm mouth that assaulted hers last night and into the wee hours. She pushed the latent strands of hair away from her face. The minute smile that lay on her lips just moments ago was obsolete now. Olivia sat up looking in the direction of her bathroom. She listened and waited. No light on, no toilet flushing, no running water.

_He left, no note, no nothing, she thought_. _He came for what he wanted, I was a fool AGAIN!_ Sadness inched its way back onto her face and into her heart. Last evening seemed so perfect between them she felt. They talked it out until neither one had no more to say, exhausted from expelling breaths, sobbing for the wrong they did to each other, promising to put the past behind them and move on.

His clothes and shoes were right where he left them at the base of her bed as she almost tripped over his size twelve and half dress shoes. The little smile at the corner of her lips before became a prominent crescent shape now.

Olivia grabbed her Japanese silk mid-thigh length robe from the back of the bathroom door. She was too bleary eyed and too tired to tie it. His smell was still eminent on her. She felt the cool squishiness between her legs as she walked out of the room. _Thank god today was Sunday or was it she thought? Just can't drink that much anymore. Jesus Christ I'm not thirty anymore._

He was clad only in his boxers as she spied his much toned back. He wasn't cut like someone she knew very well but Dean's body had nice definition to it and Olivia liked the soft silky hairs that splayed across his chest. Perfect for running her finger tips through them.

"Good morning," she said as she came into the kitchen. Dean was cracking the fourth egg over a bowl when he heard her voice behind him. He turned as the coffee maker's motor whirred and started to brew its first drop of coffee.

"Good morning, I didn't wake you did I?"

"No not exactly. At first when I didn't feel you next to me I thought you had left." Dean found it extremely difficult to concentrate on her face with her robe slightly opened revealing her smooth skinned torso, partial breasts and a tiny tuft of her pubic hair that he so richly enjoyed tasting last night. She could feel his eyes traveling all over her body as if he had thrown away the map and decided to just go it blindly.

He wiped his hands on the towel that hung over the oven door handle then came to her sliding his arms inside her robe, locking one hand over his wrist against the small of her back. Olivia reciprocated with her hands around his neck. Her skin was warm against his as it was last night. Her perky breasts and hardened nipples were pushed into his chest.

"Good morning," he said in his sexy smoky voice that almost always turned her on. "I thought you might like breakfast in bed."

"I'm not in the mood for food," she cooed smiling at him.

"No?"

"No," she said leaning in to kiss him softly on his lips. She pushed the silk fabric off her shoulders as he watched it flutter to the tile floor. Olivia stood before him in all her beautiful glory. Dean ran his hands through her caramel colored hair, his eyes locked with hers as his mouth settled over hers. His hands softly slid down her arms nesting on her ass as he picked her up and placed her gently on the kitchen counter. She opened her legs wide allowing yield to his extra-large framed body. She held his face in her hands as his rolled up her well-toned thighs.

They nipped at sucked at each other's lips before enveloping into a full force kiss. Dean could feel himself harden quickly. His dick was on the rise behind the combed cotton material. He reached down and pushed his underwear down over his waist allowing himself comfort.

Olivia felt his manhood press into her just above her knee cap. She reached down fondling him. Not long after, he was bent down licking at her opening. Olivia's head came in contact with the cupboard door. He looked up at her. She smiled back wincing slightly, she grabbed at his hair pulling him to her core, and enjoying the tantalizing pleasure his tongue was unleashing on her swollen clit.

He inserted two fingers into her hole tickling her inner walls. He licked furiously at the hood of her pink shaped bean with his teeth, letting it go then running his tongue up her slickened folds. Olivia gripped the edge in pleasurable agony as Dean was aiding in her orgasm. He stood up quickly grabbing his thick rod and massaging himself.

"Please Dean now; I need to feel you inside me," Olivia whimpered softly. Dean obliged and poked at her opening pushing himself in nice and easy. He didn't meet the restriction at first as he had last night. Olivia's vagina was still oiled up with her own juices that runneth over. Dean penetrated her womanhood over and over. Olivia lifted her legs and placed them on the counter, each on the outside of his arms, opening herself fully to him as he slammed his cock into her core.

He grunted and groaned until his ejaculation was filling her up early on a lazy Sunday morning. He collapsed between her breasts panting as she slowly raked her fingers up and down his back.

Olivia felt the heat rush from her loins to her brain as she sat up quickly sucking in a deep breath. Her heart was pounding. She looked over at David who was awakened by her fast movements.

"Are you ok Olivia?"

"Yes it was just a dream go back to sleep."

"It must have been a bad dream to jar you awake like that." She shook her head no and proceeded to get out of bed and head to her bathroom. There, with the door closed she splashed water on her face and drank from the palm of her hand. She was bent over her sink staring at herself still trying to calm her heart rate down.

_Breathe Liv breathe, she said. I have to let him go. I simply have to. I have a chance now with a great guy. Dean you can't do this to me. What we had for the short time we had was wonderful, no regrets but I can't keep turning away every man I meet because of you. I can't do it anymore. _


End file.
